Used: Adult Toys….WTF?!

First off, I am not a Germophobe. I’ll eat something after it has hit the ground, even well after five seconds if it’s cake, I’ll take a dirty spoon out of the sink and use it, I’ll even drink something from a glass that has been sitting on my desk for a couple days. But today I saw a very disturbing spam e-mail offering “assorted refurbished adult toys“. What the fuck!? There are so many levels of wrong here that I am finding it hard to type this blog and drink away the disgusting images in my head even with the help of my favorite Canadian therapist Mr. Labatt Blue.

So many questions that I don’t really want answers too.

1. Who the hell is on such a tight budget that they are willing to buy a used ribbed dildo with the ribs worn smooth? Don’t you have a vegetable bin in your refrigerator?
2. And what exactly does “assorted” mean? Are they offering “refurbished” anal beads? Yeeeeuuck! Who pulls a string of beads out of their ass and thinks to themselves “these just weren’t what I expect…I think I’ll put them back in the box and return them?
3. Worse yet. Who is the poor slob that is working the returns when the beads comes in and has to inspect, clean, repackage and determine a fair market value for used “ass beads”!?

   My bet is that it’s this guy and from the looks of it he has one stuck in his teeth.  Beer is not working, time for prescription meds.  Nighty Nite!